Congrats on resolving a sweet simple story. In truth, I'm not sure if all the story is conveyed through the images, as you've narrated your storyboard, so I was reading as well as looking. I can't quite judge if everything is conveyed visually - but I think it does! I was wondering if maybe the balloon changes colour once the bear is attached to it - it reads as a black balloon in the storyboard when it arrives at the window of the toymaker, which would make sense, and then maybe, once the bear is attached we see that it has changed into a jollier shade?
All I'd say, in design terms - and given the 'magic realism' of your story, I wonder if there aren't some missed opportunities here in terms of design. It does feel as if Bessie's room and house could be quirkier - a bit more 'whimsical' than you've presented here? This is for an animation after all. For example, one method designers sometimes use is to derive ideas from the objects that most associate with the character, so see this silhouette of a sewing machine:
If you were to take this into Photoshop - for example - and mirror it, layer it up, combine it etc. could you use this shape to create some kind of quirky house or cottage? It's not so much that she lives in a house shaped like a sewing machine, it's just a way to move your ideas along. In terms of her interior, for example - at the moment it looks like an old lady's living room, but if she was truly making those toys all day long, then I think her working space might look a bit more like this...
I guess all I'm saying is I think the world of this toymaker could be opened up a bit, made more rich and a little more fantastical - as if it is not quite 'of this earth' - I mean, had you considered for example, that it is a floating house, up where balloons are most likely to find it? I'm just reminded of this animation, for no other reason than the final scene:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y91-qkCYzYU
In short - I just think you could spend valuable time expanding on your concept here - a little old lady making toys... and then we somehow learn that it's more surreal than this - more wonderful - for example, we could begin thinking we're looking at someone's grandma making a teddy, but as soon as the balloon arrives, an exterior shot tells us that we're somewhere much more fantastical.
In terms of character design, I think the girl needs looking at. She's very bland at the moment and she needs some distinguishing features. In terms of readying your characters, you'll need to create turnarounds for them (orthographs) and you'll need to put them together so we get a sense of scale - this means you have to understand them as 3D forms, not just flat drawings: look at these examples of model sheets to see where you need to get your designs to:
OGR 09/02/2017
ReplyDeleteHey Jen,
Congrats on resolving a sweet simple story. In truth, I'm not sure if all the story is conveyed through the images, as you've narrated your storyboard, so I was reading as well as looking. I can't quite judge if everything is conveyed visually - but I think it does! I was wondering if maybe the balloon changes colour once the bear is attached to it - it reads as a black balloon in the storyboard when it arrives at the window of the toymaker, which would make sense, and then maybe, once the bear is attached we see that it has changed into a jollier shade?
All I'd say, in design terms - and given the 'magic realism' of your story, I wonder if there aren't some missed opportunities here in terms of design. It does feel as if Bessie's room and house could be quirkier - a bit more 'whimsical' than you've presented here? This is for an animation after all. For example, one method designers sometimes use is to derive ideas from the objects that most associate with the character, so see this silhouette of a sewing machine:
https://img.clipartfest.com/11e5bf9deee1772b2e7d09966350b526_sewing-machines-sewing-and-sewing-machine-silhouette-clip-art_374-242.jpeg
If you were to take this into Photoshop - for example - and mirror it, layer it up, combine it etc. could you use this shape to create some kind of quirky house or cottage? It's not so much that she lives in a house shaped like a sewing machine, it's just a way to move your ideas along. In terms of her interior, for example - at the moment it looks like an old lady's living room, but if she was truly making those toys all day long, then I think her working space might look a bit more like this...
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c9/cb/9a/c9cb9a63808877eb3d44419335293ad9.jpg
http://c8.alamy.com/comp/ARNGMA/fabric-cloth-drape-garment-haberdashery-week-weekly-market-shop-bazaar-ARNGMA.jpg
http://intelligenttravel.nationalgeographic.com/files/2014/10/grand-bazarr-market-lanterns-590.jpg
http://cdn.c.photoshelter.com/img-get2/I0000mM8wDuvyQug/fit=1000x750/Silk-fabric-salesman-at-the-Arastar-Bazaar-3191115104752.jpg
I guess all I'm saying is I think the world of this toymaker could be opened up a bit, made more rich and a little more fantastical - as if it is not quite 'of this earth' - I mean, had you considered for example, that it is a floating house, up where balloons are most likely to find it? I'm just reminded of this animation, for no other reason than the final scene:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y91-qkCYzYU
In short - I just think you could spend valuable time expanding on your concept here - a little old lady making toys... and then we somehow learn that it's more surreal than this - more wonderful - for example, we could begin thinking we're looking at someone's grandma making a teddy, but as soon as the balloon arrives, an exterior shot tells us that we're somewhere much more fantastical.
In terms of character design, I think the girl needs looking at. She's very bland at the moment and she needs some distinguishing features. In terms of readying your characters, you'll need to create turnarounds for them (orthographs) and you'll need to put them together so we get a sense of scale - this means you have to understand them as 3D forms, not just flat drawings: look at these examples of model sheets to see where you need to get your designs to:
http://www.traditionalanimation.com/wp-content/gallery/winnie-the-pooh/poohmodelsheet1.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/0a/54/f6/0a54f68d99e2c39d7cdea8a08e2695be.jpg
http://www.traditionalanimation.com/wp-content/gallery/popeye/popeyemodelsheet1.gif
I think you're onto something Jen - but I do think you need to dial up the imagination and the creativity a bit more to do your concept justice.